It could be a CRACK HEDDD

After barely surviving the accent in Louisiana, we were pretty nervous about Alabama. Linguistically, New Orleans had us on wobbly legs but we thought Mobile was gonna be lights out.

Our initial Alabama-specific references were decidedly not good. The first that jumped to mind was Forrest Gump (From Greenbow Al-a-BAM-A), followed by Nic Cage in Con Air (“Wah cudd’nt you just put the bunneh back in the bawx?”), and rounding out the unholy trinity was the leprechaun guy who wanted the gold.

We know it’s not a fair assessment. Thinking everyone in Alabama sounds like Forrest Gump is like thinking everyone in Pennsylvania has the diction of Rocky. It’s embarrassing that these moronic references were the only ones we could recall, but Dan and I are simple folk.

Come again?

Communication was ok, it just took a bit of time to get the hang of listening. Comprehension required a good bit of repetition.

Asking people to repeat themselves when learning a foreign language is fine - you’re learning entirely new words so it’s understandable. But when you’re speaking the same language and can’t understand an accent, it gets awkward.

It’s basically a three-strikes-your-out policy when continually asking someone to repeat themselves. If you can’t make out what they said by the third swing, you just answer the best you can.

Dialogue

Growers, not show-ers.

Before the show began, Dan and I hung around the bar and met some of the comics. We’ve noticed that comics in small towns and cities are usually not locals in the strict “I was born and raised here” variety, but are transplants from neighboring or sometimes distant cities.

Comics relocate for various reasons but a common cause is outgrowing a comedy scene. Cities are like dudes in that some are growers, others show-ers.

Let us explain: grower cities have tons of mics and showcases where comics can get stage time and improve, but breaking into the ‘next level’ is difficult or impossible at that location. Show-er cities have marquee clubs featuring national headliners, but fewer opportunities to get stage time at lower levels.

You may be wondering “Then why the hell are you guys constantly changing cities?” Put simply, we think mobility accelerates development quicker than remaining stationary. It provides more options. If we were stuck in one city that didn’t have many mics, we wouldn’t get much practice. But because we stay mobile, we can practice any time, anywhere.

It’s a bit like poker; if you’re stuck at one casino, you can only play one hand at a time - whereas if you’re online you can play more hands whenever and wherever you want. We figure the more rooms we do, the more comedians we network with, and the more hours we accumulate on stage, the better off we’ll be.

Hometown heroes?

Confession: Dan and I are not full-fledged Philadelphians. At least in the eyes of ‘real Philadelphians’. You may have heard Philly has a reputation for being … ‘passionate’ about certain topics, and Philly citizenship is certainly one of them.

If you were not born and raised within a certain zone, you will never be considered ‘from’ Philadelphia. You may not think Philly people are bright in the conventional sense - but they can recall postal codes and the exact borders of the city limits like rain man.

I was born in Philadelphia but grew up in the suburbs before moving back later. Dan also grew up in the burbs, so the chances of us ever being considered full Philly is nil. Naturalization is not an option.

Some countries grant citizenship through investment, marriage, or lineage. Not Philly. They have some of the most stringent citizenship requirements in the world and are super strict about what constitutes a ‘real’ Philadelphian. So far as we’ve gathered, the following stipulations must be adhered to for one to attain that vaunted title.

If you meet the requirements, congratulations are in order. You’ve made it into the elite class.

Showtime

The host did a great job setting the energy right in the room before we began. We were in an upstairs bar that had a stage tucked in the corner. Surrounding the stage were chairs, couches, and one single fold-out table. It made for good crowdwork - we made jokes about how the table looked like the worst Americal Idol/The Voice judges table in existence.

Most of the performers did traditional standup, but a 60-something year old guy came up and changed it up with song parodies and audience participation -- it was refreshing. At one point he brought a lady up to the stool and ‘serenaded’ her with an extremely vulgar Beetles cover.

He then brought out tennis balls and asked the audience to call out states as he juggled. His object was to name the capitals while juggling to demonstrate his mental fortitude -- except whenever someone shouted a state, he’d botch it. It was great. It went something like

Juggling man: (never taking his eye away from the balls) I never lose focus, I’m too good! Give me a state!

Audience: Texas!

Juggling man: (stops and catches all balls) What? Tennessee?

Audience: No, Texas!

Juggling man: Oh, uh … Austin (resumes juggling). Gimme another!

Audience: Montana!

Juggling man: (stops juggling) Missouri? Jefferson City! (resumes juggling)

Honest to God it was hard to tell if his bumbling act was intentional not, but the effect was hilarious nonetheless.

After the show we said our thanks to the host and connected with some of the comedians. We then hopped in the van and drove 3-4 hours in the direction of   Nashville before pulling over to sleep.