La-La Land

We loved the year round warmth and sunshine in San Diego. When we got to LA, we felt the same. Both cities are special in their own way.

The only mismatched expectation we encountered in LA was Hollywood. As huge film buffs, we were under the naive assumption that everything was a movie set or possessed the glitz and glamour of Old Hollywood in its heyday. Man, were we wrong.

As movie freaks, we were extremely let down. We felt like kids who waited their whole lives to visit Disneyland finally entering the Magic Kingdom only to see Mickey tying off while Minnie blew him for a crack rock in a cardboard box.

Even though it was grittier than expected, we still had a blast in Hollywood. We enjoyed every neighborhood we visited, even if some were considered ‘dangerous’. Safety is something we get asked about all the time. Parents, specifically, are under the impression that certain cities have a “kill on sight” policy. Most places are totally fine. Let’s have a quick chat about safety.

Safety first

Since we’ve traveled to so many cities, we’ve developed our own safety rating scale. If you really want to identify whether or not a city is safe, don’t waste your time looking up crime statistics - just follow this one simple trick we use.

Use a public toilet.

You can tell how dangerous a city is by how many layers of security are involved in using a restroom.

2D Comedy City Safety Scale

1 - City is safe. Free to enter restrooms whenever you please.

2 - City is questionable. A key or pincode is required to enter the restroom.

3 - City is downright sketchy. An employee must escort you to the restroom.

LA scored a 3. At Jersey Mike’s Subs, an employee had to stop what he was doing, grab the key (which was chained to an object the size and weight of a table leg), and walk me to the restroom to unlock it personally. Let that sink in.

A germ-infested shithouse needed to be under lock and key. If a filthy, rancid bathroom is more alluring than what’s outside, you know it’s a rough area. What do they think people are going to do if given the key with no supervision? Run out and make a copy? To what end? Break in and poop off-hours?

Comedy Scene

We have a confession: prior to visiting, we thought we were gonna hate LA. We’d met several comics throughout the country that had spent time in LA and talked nothing but shit on it. They’d claim LA was a town of superficial assholes trying to use comedy shows to get exposure in acting or that all the comics were dicks. The disparaging remarks were varied and plenty.

We’re happy to report that our preconceived notions were unfounded. The comedians we met were an awesome, friendly bunch of people. It was a pleasant surprise -- usually the bigger the comedy scene, the more cutthroat. That wasn’t our experience at all - the comics we met were easygoing and offered to put us on shows.

*Disclaimer* Of course, if you’re an LA comedian you might be saying “LA   does suck! It’s like high school! You don’t know shit!” and you could be right. We were only there for a few days so naturally we had on rose-tinted glasses.

Slotted mics

LA was the first city in which we experienced ‘slotted’ mics. For those unfamiliar with the concept, it’s simple: you check the schedule on the clubs website and pick a date/time you want to perform. Shows are an hour long. There are 9 slots at 5 minutes a pop. On the night of the show you venmo the club $5 dollars and you’re set. We found slotted mics to be awesome, but some people aren’t fans. We’ll break down the pros and cons below.

The argument for

• The timing is perfect - an hour is the sweet spot.
• You can actually plan out your night as you know exactly when shows begin and end. No wondering “when the hell will I get up, at midnight?”. It’s perfect if you’re trying to schedule multiple mics a night.
• There’s no bumrush for a list. Signups are done well ahead of time.
• You do not get bumped. No last minute “Oh hey, my buddy just walked in, I’ll get you up later” or “we’re not following the list”. You get the exact slot that you signed up for.
• Comics must arrive on time and stay for the duration. This guarantees you’re not hurling jokes down a black hole to no one.{" "}
• A tight atmosphere is cultivated, if only for 60 minutes. You’re knit into a little group and are more likely to connect after the show. When shows have 20 + comics coming and going, it’s hard to make any connections.
• Because everyone takes time to book their slot in advance and shell out some dough, they are generally more serious about preparing actual material and improving. It weeds out lazy comics who pace around stage trying to think of ‘funny stuff’ that happened this week or tell meandering stories without jokes.

Closing argument: It’s how every mic should be run. It’s egalitarian, rewards those who are serious, and creates a supportive atmosphere.

The argument against

• You have to pay
• You’re not ‘grinding it out’ or ‘paying your dues’

Closing argument: The only conceivable argument is that you shouldn’t have to pay. Otherwise, slotted is always a better way to run a show.

But, but ..

Some will say “You’re so biased! There were so many points for slotted and almost none against” You’re right. We are biased - if you don’t like it, feel free to leave some hate in the comments. Oh, you can’t find the comments? That’s because it’s our website, not yours.

For the complaints about paying, all we can say is “Boo hoo”. If you’re serious about getting better at anything, investment is required. Be it time, money, resources, or a combination of the three, you need to invest to improve. End of story.

If you’re still saying “Well, you shouldn’t have to pay!”, then you’re not considering ‘paying’ in the form of time. If you go to a regular mic where 30 people sign up and don’t follow an order, you’ve just spent 2-3 hours waiting, minimum. That’s 2-3 hours you could’ve spent writing, hitting the gym, sleeping, or doing whatever it is you enjoy doing.

Also, let’s face it, 5 bucks is not make or break. $5 dollars an hour is less than minimum wage. Not being arrogant, but we think our time is worth more than that. Sorry, not sorry. We’d much rather spend money to save time than spend time to save money.

*Disclaimer* We are not for ALL paid mics. Some cities have pay mics that are not slotted. You pay just to be on a show and also have a one drink minimum. Avoid these if you can. If it’s not slotted, you’re wasting time which obviously defeats the purpose.

Showtime

The first show we did was at a spot in Koreatown called Fourth Wall. It was a slotted mic we booked a few days ahead of time and it was great. I addition to the 8 or 9 comics, there were also regular audience members watching and enjoying. It was an intimate space full of funny, talented people working out bits.

After the show we talked to some of the comics and exchanged positive feedback. It’s much easier to connect when people haven’t been leaving at random intervals throughout a show. Overall we were really impressed with the quality of comedians.

We did another mic the following day and it was the same story, different sets. We have nothing but positive things to say about the comics, the shows structure, and the positive culture it creates

We really enjoyed LA. We were only there for a few days before flying to Hawaii for three nights of showcase slots.