Big Sky Country

After flying back into Seattle from Anchorage, we broke the drive to Montana into two parts. The first leg from Seattle to Spokane was smooth - imagine long stretches of paved highway with little turning. The second leg from Spokane to Missoula was a nightmare - imagine country roads with hairpin turns snaking around a mountain.

The road from Spokane to Missoula was a meandering mindfuck through Flathead National Forest. It was almost as if the engineers intentionally made it shitty.

Driving in the dark, we were never really safe at any moment on those roads. Deer, elk, and all manner of varmints lurked around every corner, eagerly waiting to jump at the van. At one point we even saw a suicidal Canadian goose standing alone on a cliff edge, staring down at the raging waters beneath as if preparing for the sweet embrace of death.

We had several close calls with hitting deer. The worst one was chillin in the middle of the road and made us slam the brakes. Although inches away from being vaporized, it didn’t even flinch. The deer fixed us with an annoyed gaze as if we were ruining his night.

When we honked the horn, it didn’t run to the right or left, but straight down the road. We slowly tailed the deer as it zig-zagged in a jerky, panicked gallop in our lane. After a hundred yards it finally jumped into the forest. No sooner had we passed than the deer returned to it’s chill spot in the road.

The road was dangerous even without animals trying to get hit. There was no shoulder on either side of the road. If we lost control, we would either wrap the van around a clutch of trees or launch headlong into the St. Regis River - which hugged the road the entire way.

Wandering animals, slippery roads, and raging rivers aside, the biggest danger was not having any cell service. If any sort of engine problem had sprung up, we’d have had to walk a zillion miles in the dark to the next town for help. We've seen enough horror movies to know our chances of survival in that scenario would be about zero.

The town

Montana really is as beautiful as people say, and Missoula in particular was a shining example. The green space and beautiful, rolling hills were like something off a postcard. The city itself felt tiny in a good way. There weren’t any garish buildings or overpopulated housing developments - just lots of little shops, bars and restaurants.

A lot of the bars we saw had lengthy ‘happy hours’. The happy hour at the bar in the picture below went from 4-9. People in Montana must be REALLY HAPPY.

In terms of comedy, the local comics told us Missoula is the fastest growing city in Montana. There are smaller scenes in Billings and Bozeman, but a lot of comics have been traveling to Missoula for the volume and variety of shows available.

Of course there are traditional open mic nights but in Missoula they also run shows with slight tweaks. For example they’ll do improv mics where you’re given a topic right before getting on stage or given topics on the go. When we were in town, they were running a two man show (or double act). When we roll into town as Two Dan’s in a Van, most people assume we’re gay or (and) do a two man show. We finally got to prove one of those things.

The days of yore

Two man shows started out around vaudeville times and involved two performers engaging in cross talk and clever verbal exchanges. One performer is the ‘straight’ man, and the other the ‘funny’ man. The straight man is serious; the voice of reason. The ‘funny’ man is the wildcard, the stooge, the irreverent one. It’s the comedy equivalent of good cop, bad cop.

The most famous double act was Abbott and Costello - you’ve probably heard their “Who’s on first?” sketch. These acts were really popular back in the 20’s and 30’s but fell out of favor as movies became the new entertainment choice. Some places, like Japan, still have two man shows but their comedic tastes are … unique.

We’ve been to 30 something states. We’ve been asked at least 50 times if we go on stage at the same or separate times. This was the first time we could actually answer “same time”.

Showtime

The show began with 5 traditional open mic performers, then switched over to the duo’s. Each pair had 6 minutes. We kicked around different ways to structure the set and decided a conversational Q&A format would be best, as most people are curious about van life and traveling the country. The set went something like this ...

Dan 1: What are some of the weirdest reactions people have had about living in a van

Dan 2: We told a guy recently we live in a van and he said “WHAT?! But you’re so   clean!”.

Dan 2: People always ask “What’s the hardest part about living in a van?”. What do you think?

Dan 1: The hardest part of living in a van is trying to convince my dad I’m not gay.

The act continued like that -- questions and answers with chunks of bits we’d do in our solo standup acts added in.

So long

We hit the road as soon as the show ended. We needed to be in Boise the following night and had no time to lose. It was an 8 hour drive that made the trip through Flathead National Park seem like a leisurely spin through the suburbs.