Buh-bye

After witnessing bingo at a college bar in Fargo, we decided to get the hell outta town before dying of boredom. Fargo is a fine place - the cost of living is cheap, the crime is low, and the people are friendly, but it just didn’t get our blood pumping. On top of that, there wasn’t a hell of a lot going on comedy wise.

We heard Minneapolis had a lot of places to get stage time, so we hopped in the van and knocked out the 3.5 hour drive.

No hard feelings

We were worried about how we’d be received in Minnesota. After the Eagles beat the Vikings in the NFC Championship last year, just about every Minnesotan went home and trashed Philly on the news.

Stories began flooding in about how horrible they were treated by Eagles fans. Besides facing non stop verbal harassment, Minnesota fans were physically assaulted and had full beer cans thrown at them - which was really uncharacteristic for Philly fans as they almost never waste beer.

Their complaints were well founded. Philly can be rough. Vikings fans found out firsthand that it’s not the City of Brotherly Love but the City of Brotherly Shove. It’s a reputation that precedes us on the road. In Portland a comic remarked “You guys can’t be from Philly. You haven’t started any fights or called dudes gay for eating pussy”.

In defense of Philly, Minnesotans decorated the Rocky statue with Vikings gear. That doesn't justify violence but they knew it would stir the hive. Watching them drape gear on Rocky was like watching someone hand feed steak to a pet tiger - you hope they don’t get mauled but you’re not surprised if it happens.

Luckily there was no lingering animosity - probably because the comics weren’t even aware of the game. Most comedians couldn't care less about sports. They enjoy sports as much as vampires enjoy sunlight.

The city

Minneapolis is an interesting city. It’s full of Scandinavians and Somalis, aka vikings and pirates. We’re not sure how or why a frozen, landlocked North American city became the chosen land for European and African seafaring plunderers, but it works.

We were happy to discover the rumors were true - Minneapolis had a great comedy scene. It was full of killer comics and ample venues to do spots.  Every mic or showcase was packed to the rafters with comedians - not only locals but traveling comics too.

It was great connecting with so many comics. It was in South Dakota that we first learned how strongly interconnected the comedy scenes are in the Midwest. We saw it firsthand in Minneapolis -- everyone knew everyone.

Showtime

The first show was at a bar and was by far the loudest mic we’ve ever done. The place was packed and the people were rowdy. There weren’t any hecklers; many simply didn’t know a comedy show was happening. Regular bar patrons (folks not there for comedy specifically) would hear noise coming from the corner of the room and try to talk over it. Every single comic that went up had to battle to be heard.

The second show was at a brewery with an amazing comedy room. A lot of breweries put on standup shows in makeshift space -- meaning a tiny stage in a corner with a portion of the room curtained off.

This brewery, on the other hand, had half its total space walled off and dedicated solely to comedy. It looked and felt like a setup you’d see at a full-time comedy club.

The show was great. Most of the comedians on the show were experienced and crushed … but there were a few newbies who didn't fare so well. One guy in particular really got put through the wringer.

The dude had nervous energy on stage and became visibly rattled when his jokes missed the mark. He began stumbling through setups, botching punchlines, and getting progressively more uneasy as the set went on. He got off stage early and learned the hard way that you’re not supposed to leave the stage unattended.

The host, unprepared to return so quickly, threw his drink down and rushed up to the stage. He got to the mic and with a scowl said “What the hell was that?” to audience laughter. He then cupped his hand over his eyes and scanned the audience to find the comic who ditched early. When he spotted the guy, he pointed and commanded “YOU! Get back up here”.

Through giggles and titters the comic trudged back to the stage. He looked like a man being marched to the gallows. The host said “Take the mic. Thank the audience for their time. And say goodnight!”. After doing as he was told, the comic began to walk away.

Before he could make it off stage, the host hollered “Where are you going?!” and the audience roared with laughter. The comic dragged himself back to the mic looking like a beaten dog. The host said “Shake my hand, and then leave the stage”. He did and slunk back to his seat.

Everyone in the audience was cracking up but we couldn’t help but cringe on the inside thinking about how embarrassing that would’ve been. We didn’t see the guy after the show but if we had, we’d’ve told him to keep his chin up. This shit happens. Hell, even Tom Segura talked on his podcast about bombing a week after filming a Netflix special.

Dan and I went midway through the show and did great. It was an awesome room and a fun audience. As we finished, we made sure to stay on the stage and shake hands with the host before leaving.

Thank you, next

We really enjoyed Minneapolis but as is always the case (until we reach all 50 states), we had to move on to the next city. The following day we began driving South for Des Moines.