Bordertown

We began our trip to Huntington right after the show in Louisville. We knocked out the three hour drive and pulled into town around 1 in the morning. Huntington is an interesting spot. It’s mashed into a corner of the map where West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky come together.  If you go right instead of left or North instead of South, you can find yourself in an entirely new state. Most of the time we hadn’t the faintest idea where we were.

Huntington was close to other cities we wanted to hit and we’re glad we found it - because as far as standup in West Virginia goes, it was pretty sparse. *If any WV comics are reading this and saying “That’s not true, we’ve got a lot!”, then email us and we’ll come back!*.

Accomodation

A heat wave was still in full swing when we arrived. It was characterized by that thick, oppressive humidity that transforms you into a slimy mess the moment you step outside .

We spent the first night sweating it out in the van, but had to bite the bullet and get a hotel room the following day. When we pulled up to the hotel and saw a cast of shady characters loitering around outside, we thought we might actually bite a bullet.

We walked past some hoods on the way to our room and overheard a discussion about their homie who’d just been arrested for “blasting someone with a shotgun”. The whole conversation was alarmingly casual given the grave nature of murder. After hearing of the arrest, one of the guys commented incredulously “I heard the dude aint even die tho!” as if that would exonerate his buddy for the shooting.

Cool off, stay a while

We couldn’t get into our room fast enough. The door was stuck and we basically had to bust it down. A splintered patch of wood where the sliding lock used to be indicated we weren’t the first ones to enter that way.

When the lights came on, a cluster of roaches panicked and scattered in every direction. We felt like police busting an underage party.

We managed to stomp a few but most escaped into cracks and crevices, allowing our imaginations to run wild all night and see bugs in every shadow.

On the bright side, the bathroom lights didn’t work at all. The entire switch box was ripped out of the wall and hanging by a few scant wires, leaving us blissfully unaware of any insectile companions.

It was like a sensory deprivation tank meant to remove all senses and emotions except for extreme anxiety.

We wanted to notify the receptionist about the broken outlet to avoid being charged $50 dollars, but when we tried to call the front desk we discovered the phone was not connected. It wasn’t unplugged, there were just NO WIRES attached to the phone or the wall. Everything except the roaches was fake or didn’t work - it felt like we were in Pyongyang.

Move along, nothing to see here

The next day as we were walking out we saw police officers questioning two obvious prostitutes about what they were doing hanging around the hotel. I overheard one of the ladies saying to the officer “No, I wouldn’t do that. I’m not that kinda girl”.

We’re not making fun of these women for being prostitutes - we’re making fun of them for being so obvious and not having a better excuse.

Showtime

We co-headlined a show at Black Sheep Burritos and Brews. It was a great spot - the restaurant occupied the left half of the building and the right half was all tables and stage. Some bar/brewery shows are rinky-dink -- this was not. The stage and sound system were professional and the show was really well-attended.

Before the show began we hung out with the other comics on the bill. They were really friendly and welcoming - the scene in Huntington seemed really tight. Sometimes we’ll get to a city and sense lingering drama or other unpleasantness - we didn’t get any of that here.

One of the comedians we met before the show was Billy Summers. When he’s not performing, he’s out and about taking photographs. Shoutout to Billy for hooking us up with these kickass pictures from the show!

Our next stop was the Comedy Zone in Greenville. It was a bit out of the way, but we hadn’t yet performed in South Carolina. We began our trip in January with the secondary goal of escaping the winter cold. In our haste to reach the beaches of Florida we drove clean through SC. This was our chance to finally circle back and scratch SC off the list.